Monday, October 27, 2008

9th Sunday...Learning to Forgive!!!

Song of the week: Jordin Sparks – One Step at a time

Encouragement Verse: “He will yet fill your mouth with Laughter, and your lips with shouts of Joy.” – Job 8:21 NIV

Quote of the week: “With the death of every friend I love...a part of me has been buried...but their contibution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world.” --- Helen Keller

In spite of all the dramas of the week, another Sunday has come to overtake Saturday again…Ok, we are almost there, you can say, if you are reading this post on Sunday…over here it is just 5:45pm. Once more, I have been able to performance the task for the week elapse.

So I wrote in my last post, about old flames that keep cropping up at my time of vulnerability. I should just snub them but I really need to take care of it and finally put a dot at the end of that ancient history.

Well, enough of the old tales…

Anyways this past week I also updated my Goal/Aspiration list for 2008 (I kind of love the term, ‘Bucket list…living each day like it is your last’). As I re-examine it, I was thankful about how much I have accomplished so far. And even if I still haven’t found what I am looking for [“what am I really looking for?”) I can still give myself a pat on the back. So in anticipation to the New Year, I also decided to adjust the list with more ‘Bucket list’, hitting the ‘backslash’ key behind the year 2008 and keying in ‘2009’ at the end. And as this year begins to slip away one month after the other, I’ll definitely be including more goals or probably, I may decide to hit the ‘delete’ key as I go through the list.

Sometimes things may change and another time, it won’t change. Some people may change now while other times, they decide it isn’t necessary. But change is good. Some things may matter now while other times, those things won’t even matter. Whatever may be the case, I want to be able to look back then give Praise to God that He saw me through those difficult situation…helped me change ,my bad habits that estranged me from His love…and gave me the strength to endure the storm. God truly is rescuing me!

So this brand new week I would like to work on changing another flaw – UNFORGIVENESS. If it was a stranger who hurt you, then you could easily detach yourself from them or you may never see them again. But the real test definitely comes when they belong to the same lineage as you. ‘What do you do if they are your brother, sister or parent?’ It is easy to say, ‘I will forgive all’ when asked…but as the saying goes, ‘easier said than done’.

When we confront the reality of forgiving, we discover we have a double standards. I call myself a Christian…but many times I do find it difficult to truly forgiving. Instantly, I erect a wall between them and myself, becoming stingy with those three words that could lift the burden than I carry – I FORGIVE YOU. But God is still working on me and I will find the strength to triumph over this flaw. GOD I NEED HELP TODAY!!!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

8th Sunday...When the Past Came Knocking Again!!!

Song of the week: Asa – Bi'Banke

Encouragement Verse: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” – Isaiah 43:18-19

Quote of the week: “It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

So it was Tuesday, when heard the door to my heart unlock…it was unlocked by a familiar friend who I never took the keys from. Again pursuit by another ‘Blast from my past’...”they sure picked the right time to come back, at my time of vulnerability”. But this time, it was definitely time to bring to a close that part of my past or I will never be able to start the ball rolling to the next phrase of my life. I truly needed closure…it will be hard but Lord, help me…!!!

As usual, he captivated me with those empty promises that sounded sweet but had a hidden agenda. The deep-rooted feelings all came back to me, muddling up my sane thinking…one part, wanted to cuddle those feelings again and go along with the familiar screenplay I was used to (Supporting Actress to the ‘Other woman’). Another cautioned me about my settling for less.

“Gosh! Why do I keep taking that same old road to nowhere?” Just then I heard Asa sing, Bi'Banke. that song smacked me back to the veracity of what was really going on. I had been a fool but I didn’t have to be again. I didn’t have to be that supporting actress that is never remembered when (by right) I had been given the ‘Lead role’ in the story of my life. No, I had to end this now or I will never know what it feels like to say, NO! to him.

Just then the words that I feared to utter came out effortlessly. I may have ended a friendship but it was one that had outlasted its welcome…This time I disconnected the plugs.

As for him, I can only pray for him…’God, help him to truly find you and that he will be truly committed to the one he was made to love, Amen’. But as for me, it may hurt now but I am finding the strength to move on.

Am moving on…!!!

Picture source:

Sunday, October 12, 2008

7th Sunday...Finding My Way Back!!!

Song of the week: Nickelback – Savin' Me

Encouragement Verse: “The locusts have no King, yet go they forth all of them by bands.” – Proverbs 30:27

Quote of the week: “We can always find something to be Thankful for, no matter what may be the burden of our wants, or the special subject of our petitions.” --- Albert Barnes

Even when we begin to doubt our believes and God's promise but it is always brighter just above the dark clouds. All we have to do is never give up or everything we ever believed in will suddenly come to an END. What do I want? My heart knows...but what can I do now to be deserving of this beautiful gift of Love that God wants to share with me and the world???

I feel I am not ready, but He urges me on...and like the writer shared in the Meditation reading of October 8, 2008 (Word for today) "Don't quit your victory is assurred!"...I am pressing forward until I get every mission dished out to me right.

This Sunday I share with you one of my struggles...Anger!!! Sometimes, I fight the temptation to do something right everyday when I awake but it does not ever end up that way. But today I want to give it to God, asking for the strength to be able to overcome it little by little by His grace.

It may not happen instantly but I will surely be breaking ground...but I ask that as you read this, I ask that you pray for me...

“Letting go...but Letting GOD change my shortcomings each Sunday at a time..."

Sunday, October 5, 2008

6th Sunday...To The One I Love (Closure)!!!

Song of the week: Michael Jackson – Speechless

Encouragement Verse:See now that this has touched Your LIPS, your wickness is removed, your sin Purged.” – Isaiah 6: 6

Quote of the week: “Imagine every day to be the last of a life surrounded with hopes, cares, anger, and fear. The hours that come unexpectedly will be so much more the grateful.” – Horace

Dear RY ,

I have tried on many occasions to just go about my business but out the blue, my thought revisits the moments we spent together. What do I do???

I should be angry with you but I can't anymore because there was a reason for our encounter and now I know it is time for me to let go of what remains of you. You were part of my yesterday that will never be for my today...That love has died and now I mourn for it like I have mourned a loved one long gone.

But the manifestation of GOD's Love that lead you into my life still makes me speechless. I still wonder to myself, "How did it happen?", "What did I do to deserve such a beautiful angel that once creeped into my life?" I know it was definitely Faith that brought this Two Souls together and I am glad I encountered you.

I do not intend to be a Victim forever but I want to be Victor in this situation, likewise you. Although we have gone our seperate way, I think I will continue to hold you in the beautiful place of my heart.

I shall not harbor any bitterness towards you but will continue to pray that when we meet again that God would have blessed us both with all our heart's desire. Take care my former Love.



Picture source: PhotoBucket